


The Last of Blues

by seonweonsonyeondan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken Hyungwon, Chae Hyungwon-centric, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonweonsonyeondan/pseuds/seonweonsonyeondan
Summary: There was one night, one night where Hyungwon and Hoseok went out, just the two of them. It was the best night of Hyungwon’s life. Hoseok held him close, eyes hungry. In a dark corner, Hyungwon pulled Hoseok close and kissed him. Hoseok’s grip pulled Hyungwon closer as his tongue parted Hyungwon’s lips. For once Hyungwon felt fully present, fully invested.But when Hoseok pulled away, instead of seeing excitement and lust in his expression, Hyungwon saw panic.---Minhyuk and Hoseok make Hyungwon feel things he hasn't felt, but that ends when the truth comes out.





	The Last of Blues

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that summary is not very good or reflective of the fic, but i hope yall enjoy it

He taps his fingers along the edge of his mattress, staring blankly at the ceiling. The sounds of his roommates playing video games thump through the walls and remind him that he still exists. He could get up. He probably should. He hasn’t showered today. Has he eaten? He thinks he has. 

Hyungwon rolls onto his side, wincing when his ankles knock together. It’s been a couple days since he laid it all on the line. Hyungwon still feels sick when he thinks about it. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to will the bile in his stomach to calm down. Bringing his knees to his chest, Hyungwon rests his forehead on top of them and pulls his legs close into him. 

Jooheon had said that he made the right decision. Virtually everyone Hyungwon told said that. Changkyun had been suspiciously quiet on the subject, but he’s a weird kid. He had just nodded silently and hugged Hyungwon close when Hyungwon told him. He let Hyungwon cry later that night when it sunk in exactly what it all meant.

Hyungwon knows he has other friends. His roommates are his friends. They annoy him and keep him company and badger him to cook for them or they order takeout that they know Hyungwon will eat.

But they’re not Minhyuk or Hoseok.

Hyungwon knew from the get go that they were a package deal. That’s one of the things he liked best about them. Two hot boys for the price of one. Hyungwon was never entirely sure if they were officially dating, just that they were close and fucked regularly. Minhyuk was so bright, so welcoming; Hyungwon immediately felt like they’d been friends longer than a few months. Hoseok was softer, a kinder soul to Minhyuk’s sharp tongue. He cooked ramen for Hyungwon and made Hyungwon feel valued in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Hyungwon lit up in a way he didn’t know he could whenever Hoseok smiled at him.

There was one night, one night where Hyungwon and Hoseok went out, just the two of them. It was the best night of Hyungwon’s life. Hoseok held him close, eyes hungry. In a dark corner, Hyungwon pulled Hoseok close and kissed him. Hoseok’s grip pulled Hyungwon closer as his tongue parted Hyungwon’s lips. For once Hyungwon felt fully present, fully invested.

But when Hoseok pulled away, instead of seeing excitement and lust in his expression, Hyungwon saw panic.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Hoseok said. He still held Hyungwon close, hard dick still poking Hyungwon in the hip. 

“What? Why?” Hyungwon could already feel the ice spreading through his body. 

Hoseok deflated immediately as he brushed some sweaty hair out of Hyungwon’s face. “Minhyuk. I--I don’t know if he’d be okay with this. I should talk to him first.”

“Oh.” Hyungwon didn’t realize that Hoseok and Minhyuk were…that structured. “That’s. That makes sense.”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok said, face genuinely upset. “I’ll talk to him. I--I. Yeah.”

But Hoseok never mentioned the kiss again. 

And then Minhyuk--

Well, Minhyuk’s life went to shit. He started staying over at Hoseok’s place, the two of them retreating into each other more and more as time went on. 

Hyungwon did what he could. He baked cookies and brownies and brought over weed to smoke while they watched nostalgic shows. Hyungwon stayed late into the night at Hoseok’s with them playing video games before he ultimately was the one who had to go home and sleep in bed alone. 

It’d been over a month since Hyungwon and Hoseok had kissed. Minhyuk had officially moved in with Hoseok and Hoseok still flirted with Hyungwon. Minhyuk still poked and prodded, trying to keep Hyungwon included.

Hyungwon couldn’t take it anymore.

“Does Minhyuk know or not?” Hyungwon was drunk. Drunk and angry, a combination he rarely ever was. Hoseok was most definitely not drunk. It was dark and cold, but the whiskey kept Hyungwon warm as he towered over Hoseok.

“Know what?” Hoseok didn’t make eye contact, just shuffled his feet. Hyungwon had stupidly walked over to their apartment and demanded Hoseok talk to him. Even drunk Hyungwon knew this was the right thing to do. Even drunk Hyungwon knew he needed honesty. 

He deserved as much.

“That you kissed me,” spat Hyungwon, the words poison that had been eating away at him for over a month. “That you kissed me, that when you flirt with me you actually  _ acted _ on it.”

Hoseok looked at Hyungwon then. Hyungwon shook his head. 

“You’re a fucking coward. You know how badly I had hoped--That between the two of you--Fuck you!” Hyungwon took a step away from Hoseok’s heartbroken expression. “Don’t contact me. I need time. I should have known better.”

“Hyungwon--” Hoseok reached out to grab Hyungwon but Hyungwon stumbled out of reach. Hyungwon tried to spin around to deliver a scathing retort but instead fell over onto his ass.

“Hyungwon, you’re drunk, you shouldn’t walk home alone,” Minhyuk’s voice called out. Both of the men froze and turned to his voice. Minhyuk was bundled up in one of Hoseok’s sweatshirts. “I’ll walk you.”

“No. Stay here with--” Hyungwon waved at Hoseok, feeling sick. “Stay. I know when I’m not welcome.”

“Hyungwon--” Hoseok tried to help him up but Hyungwon slapped away the outstretched hand and crawled a few feet away. He gathered his legs beneath him and wobbled to his feet. Somehow Hyungwon had managed to walk to the end of their block before someone grabbed his hand. 

“Let me go--”

“Hyungwon, listen to me.” It was Minhyuk. “I didn’t know. I thought that was just--Hoseok flirts with everyone, I didn’t know. I didn’t realize--”

“It’s too late,” Hyungwon interrupted Minhyuk. “You don’t like me like that either, right?” Minhyuk chewed on his lip. “Exactly. He doesn’t want to give it a chance and you don’t even think of me that way.”

“Hyungwon, you’re our friend.” But the way Minhyuk said it, Hyungwon knew Minhyuk had already accepted what they all knew what was going to happen.

“Hoseok has a strange way of showing it.”

 

Hyungwon called Jooheon to pick him up. Him and Changkyun stuffed him full of pizza and more alcohol. Changkyun held his hair back as he threw up the next morning. Hoseok had listened and didn’t try to contact Hyungwon. Minhyuk sent messages periodically.

But now Hyungwon just needs to get out of bed. Maybe sell all his things and move to another country, change his name, get plastic surgery. Never see Minhyuk or Hoseok ever again.

“Your life would be awfully boring without us,” Changkyun’s voice calls. Hyungwon sits up and glares.

“You could have knocked,” Hyungwon says without any bite.

“You wouldn’t have answered anyway.” Changkyun moves to the side and calls into the rest of the apartment, “He’s not dead. Do you wanna talk to him?”

“If it’s--”

“It’s not. I still am looking into figuring out a way to ship them to South Africa under the pretense of a surfing lesson so they’ll get eaten by sharks.” Changkyun’s eyes flashed dangerously. “It’s someone who I think will help you feel better. Better than we’re doing anyway.”

“It’s been like three days.”

“It’s been a week and a half, Hyungwon.”

“Oh. Well. I don’t want to see anyone. I haven’t showered.”

“Too bad.” Hyungwon squeaks when he sees who spoke. A brick wall of a man enters. He’s even broader than when Hyungwon last saw him. “Hey Wonnie.”

“Hyunwoo. Long time.”

Hyunwoo nods. Changkyun looks back and forth between them before he creeps away. Hyunwoo gestures to Hyungwon’s messy bed. “Can I sit?”

“I mean, sure. It’s gross though.” 

Hyunwoo shrugs and pads into the room and sits next to Hyungwon. They sit in silence for a few beats. Hyungwon’s heart beats fast. “So. What country are you disappearing to now?”

Hyungwon coughs, trying to disguise a laugh. “I hadn’t decided. I heard Australia is nice.”

“Yeah. But everything’s evolved to kill you.”

“That sounds amazing.” Hyungwon pulls his knees back up to his chest and clutches them close. “Did Jooheon call you?”

“Mmm. Don’t be mad at him.”

Hyungwon shook his head, “I thought you moved down south. For work.”

“I did.” Hyunwoo rests his head on Hyungwon’s shoulders. “I’m here on business. Apparently at the right time, too.”

“I fucked up again.”

“You didn’t fuck up. You can’t help what you feel.”

Hyungwon gurgles a little, eyes misty. “You’d think I’d’ve learned by now.”

Hyunwoo wraps his arms around Hyungwon and presses a kiss to the crown of Hyungwon’s head. “There’s no reason for you to learn. You have a soft heart and it’s not your fault people exploit it, unknowingly or not.”

“They didn’t--they didn’t  _ exploit _ it--”

“No, but one of them was careless. Thoughtless or whatever.” Hyunwoo rests his cheek on Hyungwon’s head. “I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose. You can’t control other people, Wonnie.”

“This is the most you’ve spoken at once to me in years.” Hyungwon buried his face into his knees to hide the quiet smile tugging at his lips. He feels the rumble of Hyunwoo chuckling.

“I’m feeling talkative.” Hyunwoo heaves a sigh and runs his fingers through Hyungwon’s matted hair. “It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Eventually. You always are.”

 


End file.
